True Desires
by BlakeAtlas
Summary: Issei finds himself faced with an unstoppable force. After risking his life to protect his friends, Issei unintentionally destroy's the white dragon. With no further purpose, the red dragon reveals he will help Issei achieve his true desires. What does Issei truly want?
1. The Dragon's Awakening

"BOOST"

This guy is stupidly strong. Rias said something about his sword being infused with fragments of all realms.

"BOOST"

Heaven, Hell, Norse, even Earth. I don't get the logic behind it, but he has tossed everyone aside effortlessly without the blade.

"BOOST"

He out sped Kiba and Xenovia, he withstood the extreme force of Koneko, he laughed at Akeno's spells, and he even released this aura to negate Asia's healing.

"BOOST"

Rias has been able to stop his magical attacks, but I don't know if she can hold on much longer.

"BOOST"

I think this guy called himself Zedd, but I really couldn't care what this douche-nozzles name is. All I know is he wants to destroy every pure blood devil; that means Rias.

"BOOST"

He seems pretty serious about killing Rias, and that pisses me off.

"BOOST"

The plan was for everyone to attack Zedd, while I stayed back so I could power up.

"BOOST"

Asia is beside me, Rias told her to hide here once Zedd released that anti-healing aura.

"BOOST"

Looking around, I see Xenovia sitting near Kiba, who is face down on the ground.

"BOOST"

Koneko is kneeling closer to me, she looks exhausted. Akeno and Rias are floating near each other, attacking and defending respectively. No one appears to be injured, they all just look drained.

"BOOST"  
All right, I should be ready to transfer my power to Rias and Akeno. Stepping out, Asia grabs my arm.

"Please be careful."

Asia looks worried as she speaks. I smile at her, saying.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine."

Nodding, she smiles warm-heartedly before letting me go. I step from behind the rock I was hiding behind.

"Red dragon emperor!"

A loud, echoing voice calls.

"I have been awaiting for your power to rise, so we may properly do battle. With no distractions."

As he finishes, Zedd snaps his fingers. This releases a strong explosion of extreme force. Both Rias and Akeno are sent flying, and the others are firmly pressed against the ground. Strangely, this wave ignores me. Zedd floats down in front of me.

"Come on Red dragon, hit me with all your power."

This dick dares hurt my friends, my family. He will pay.

Pointing my left hand at him, I concentrate all my thoughts on destroying the one who dreamed of killing the head of the Gremory house.

"EXPLOSION"

Everything fades to the bright red beam shooting from my hand. What an idiot. He lets me power up, then he just stands still for me to kill him.

The light fades away as my power runs out. The instant the light disappears, I fall to the ground. That really did a number on me, but at least Zedd is dead.  
"Pathetic. I expected more from the Welsh dragon."

A strong hand grips my collar and lifts me off the ground.

Slowly, I open my eyes to see a decaying face, smiling at me.

"So tired after one attack? I'll make short work of you, I already have slain the white dragon."

Wait, he killed Vilkes? No way…

"Now red dragon, be destroyed. Omniblade!"

Zedd pulls a large sword out of thin air. It looks godly, as it emits a colorful rainbow of light. As quickly as he summoned the sword, It is planted in my stomach.

Fuck.

"Issei!"

"No!"

"Issei?"

I hear voices as the blade sears my insides. This must have holy elements in it. This pain, it's insane. Withdrawing the blade, I collapse to the ground at Zedd's feet.

Of course I'm to weak again. When we're caught out, I can't protect anyone. I'm worthless, just lying on the ground, bleeding all over the place.

"Now then, Rias Grimory."

How am I supposed to fight this guy? I hit him with all of my power, and he knocked me down in on attack. If only I was stronger, then I'd be able to protect everyone.

"Now with the dragon out of the way, killing you should be easy. You can't even move from the barrier I created around you all, it's hopeless for you."

I am unworthy to call myself all eight of Riases pawns. A real pawn protects every other piece on the board.

Zedd laughs.

"You don't know how long I have waited for this. I hate you devil scum. Twelve long centuries I bathed in the center of the earth. I swore then to kill every pure-blood devil. Let's start with you."

I have to do something.

"Issei."

A voice calls from my arm.

"There is not much time, but listen to me. For every dragon their exists a move unique to them called a game-breaker. This move is immense in strength, but literally can only be cast once per century. The power of my game-breaker is called infaboost. It is the equivalent to ten-thousand boosts."

…

10000 boosts?

"I can read your thoughts, and I know you will do anything to protect these people. I must warn you, using this ability will destroy your physical form, but it is strong enough to beat the one called Zedd. To use it, go into balance breaker and say "game-breaker"."

Can I even stand like this? I was just stabbed with a long sword.

"How about I kill your friends first? The dragon is down, now what about the cat?"

Koneko?

I can't give up now, even if it kills me, I will protect these people I care about.

"Boos...ted...gear."

I manage to cough up the words, along with some blood.

"Bal….ance...br...e….eak….er"

My entire body ignites in pain as I sputter the words out of my mouth.

I feel the familiar sensation of armor growing from my left hand. In no time at all, the dragon is covering my face, and the entirety of my body.

"Well well, look who is still trying to fight a god. Come on then dragon emperor, show me your balance breaker!"

Zedd laughs as he taunts me. I can't move, try as I might.

"Maybe you need a little motivation."

I turn my head slightly to see Zedd pointing his blade to Koneko's neck. I have to try it. To save my friend.

"Game…"

I feel the holiness of Zedd's blade eat at me, trying to stop me. It won't.

"Breaker."

I feel an insane amount of power surge through me as I speak. It's like my blood is boiling. With newfound strength, I stand up.

"See? Now that she is in peril, you can truly push yourself, red dragon. I'm still gonna kill her, the precious Gremory's rook time has come."

Zedd moves the blade forward toward Koneko's neck.

Good thing I am fast.

In an instant, my fist greets Zedd's face, creating an impact that sends him flying.

Seeing Koneko is unharmed, I sprint forward, catching Zedd before he touches the ground again. This time, it is me who is holding him by the collar, looking him in the eyes. I still feel the immense pain in my stomach, but this power is letting me ignore it's limitations.

"You dare threaten Koneko,"

I slam Zedd onto the ground with extreme force.

"You were gonna hurt Kiba,"

I punch him with my right hand.

"And Xenovia,"

Now the left hand.

"Even Akeno."

Reaching back, he swings his sword. I grab it with my left hand and effortlessly snap the blade.

I hit him as hard as I can with both hands.

"You were gonna lay a finger on my Asia."

Now, I grasp Zedd and lift him by the face.

"You suggested bringing harm to my master, this alone is punishable by death."

I am in so much pain, so much anger, I need him gone. I focus all my emotions on Zedd's death.

"OBLITERATION"

Where am I?

Sitting up, I look around and see a bedroom. My bedroom. What?

So, maybe all that was a dream? No, I felt that pain, saw Zedd's blade pierce through, and felt those boobs the night am I here now, if I really did all those things?

Spinning, I swing my legs over the side of the bed and stand up. There is a bright light shining through my window. Looking out the window suggests it is currently late afternoon. I see a leaf fall from a tree outside, in the backyard. I watch as it gently floats side to side, making it's way to the hard ground below. I need some air.

Turning to my door, I pass through it and head to the main floor. I don't see anyone here, I hope they're alright. Really, it wouldn't be surprising if I was to weak to save them. Worthless, that's what he called me. Zedd wasn't wrong, even though I have a dragon living in me, I was only ever a pawn, surrounded by people who outdid me at every turn. Did I even save them?

Closing the front door behind me, I walk through the warm air and continue to think.

I promised I would live to protect her, now I don't even know if Rias is alive. They all might have fallen because of my inability to protect anyone. Kiba, Xenovia, Asia, Akeno, and Koneko. If they are dead, then I am to blame.

"Dude,"

I look around to an empty street. Come to think of it I have just been walking with no general direction. Remembering who the voice belongs to, I look to my wrist, and speak into it.

"What do you want?"

My wrist emits a green light as the red dragon speaks.

"You should be dead, bro. Put simply, the game-breaker should have killed you."

I scoff, saying.

"Sorry to disappoint you."

The red dragon continues.

"Issei, the one called Zedd spoke the truth. The white dragon is slain. If a dragon somehow meets their end from a force which is not a dragon, the dragon binds to the weapon that killed the host. When you broke that weapon, you defeated the white dragon. My purpose is fulfilled in this era."

I tense up.

"...So, are you leaving me?"

The red dragon laughs.

"I wish. No, it is destined for us to clash for eternity, but if a dragon defeats the other, there is a protocol. In short, I am to abide to your desires, use my powers for your gain."

I simply blink. The possibilities are endless, and full of boobs!

"However…"

Of course there's more.

"I will not take your requests. I will not be brought to a level where I must be commanded by you. By accessing your mind, I can see what you truly want. For instance, you wished to live, so I kept you stable after your game-breaker."

I speak up.

"Hey, what happened to that ass-hat anyways?"

Sighing, the red dragon responds.

"My ultimate move is one that erases any foe from existence. Obliteration wipes any form or shape of any person, thing, or even god. Anyways the point is I know what you want, and argue all you like, but you no longer manifest your lust by obsessing with breasts. Things have changed… To an extent."

I smile, ear to ear.

"You mean a harem?"

Pausing, the dragon continues.

"More or less. Allow me to spell it out for you. You wish to have a group of girls fighting over you."

Sounds like my everyday life.

"But a time has come where you wish to pick a girl, and, uh… Romanticize with."

I'd argue with him, but he can see into my head, so he probably knows what he is talking about.

"I won't deny it, but who is it?"

Laughing again, the dragon replies.

"Even you don't know. That is just something for you to figure out. I have done a few things to assist you, and will continue to help you do so."

"Whoa whoa whoa. What kind of things?"

I quickly interject, but the red dragon immediately cuts me off.

"The less you know Issei. You got this, just let things happen naturally. I'm out, peace!"

With that, the light on my hand fades away.

Is that what I really want?

Whenever I think about a serious relationship with one of these girls., I see her face and it hurts. Even through all the flirting, touching, even kissing, I can't stand to think about a legitimate relationship. I wake up laying beside naked girl's every morning, of course I have had those thoughts. She won't let me explore these possibilities of being intimate with someone. I look down, only to see a tear fall off my face.

Yuuma….


	2. Haunting Pain

I pop open the lid to a can of soda pop, hearing a slight fizzing. Surprisingly, I found some change in my pocket. Actually, know that I think of it, these are the same clothes I would have been wearing when I fought Zedd, meaning I have been wearing the same clothes for... Wait, how long has it even been since then?

It was the middle of April when he attacked us, that's all I know for sure. It might have been a few days, maybe even a week. Not any longer than that for sure, but whatever. All I care about right now is how extremely thirsty I am.

Tilting my head back, I desperately chug down the entire can of soda. I didn't bother to check what kind of beverage I purchased from the vending machine that I happened upon, my throat just told me to drink something. Being sure to drink every last drop, I look up. Across the street, I see a park with benches. May as well sit down for a while.

Walking over, I plop down abruptly onto the wooden seat. This place seems familiar, although I have lived in this town for long enough that I am familiar with almost everywhere. I've only been walking for maybe five minutes, but I feel exhausted. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to go walking immediately after waking up.

That sword…

The memory of him pulling that sword and stabbing me keeps replaying in my mind. It was easily the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I couldn't even think straight, the only thing I could tell was happening was Zedd threatening Koneko. That game-breaker, it gave me the strength to easily win, but I cannot rely on that move. It takes a whole century to recharge. So now I'm left with my own power, and that isn't much.

Still, I have to protect everyone. If the situation calls for it, I will try my best to keep my friends safe. I can't ever let anyone harm them.

Leaning to my right, I bring my legs on the bench and lay across it. Man, I really am exhausted.

Is what the red dragon said true? Did Zedd actually kill Vilkes? But when a host is killed, I thought the dragon found a new host? Maybe not, I could be completely wrong.

Also, going back to what the red dragon said, did he really mean it? If so, that's awesome! My true desires are to be fulfilled. But, it's not a harem. Damn, I have been set on having a group of girls ready for use on command. How is that not what I want? I could touch boobs all the time. That would be amazing!

I sigh.

Maybe the old dragon was right. He can access my thoughts after all. Did he mean I really want to forge a relationship with one of my friends? Like, a girlfriend? I can't lie, the idea isn't terrible, but that limits my boob touching options. Still, I suppose it would be amazing to have an intimate relationship. But who would it be?

Even if I had an idea of whom, it really wouldn't matter. At the end of the day, I'm just me, worthless, pathetic, weak. Just because I might want a relationship, that doesn't mean I am naive enough to believe anyone would feel the same way about me. I may be a lot of things, but I know when Rias, Asia, even Akeno let me touch them or look at them, it doesn't mean anything. It's the same as bribing me, I do something good, I get boobs. Not that it is a bad thing, as it works in my favor. This is just evidence of my eternal state, these people I love can never see me in the way I see them. Because when it comes down to it, I am a pawn, something to be used and discarded if needed.

I blink and focus on the blue sky above me.

Wait, he said he already did something to help me. What did the dragon do? And if I actually do wish for a girlfriend, I don't know if he can do anything to truly help my cause. Although, he has surprised me before. We haven't lost a fight, not to mention that whole 10000 boosts.

I hear a small splash from my left. Instinctively looking over, I see a man walking away from me, next to a large fountain. Whoa, a fountain? How have I not noticed that? It's not exactly small or quiet in the least.

Wait, this fountain...

I sit up and quickly turn my head to look around. I've died here before.

Of course. That's why this place seems familiar. This was where I met Rias. Well, formally at least. This is where it all began, my pain, friendships, and boob fondling. That last one almost makes it all worth it.

Almost.

While the pain is obviously a bad thing, the friendships are more complex. Obviously, I care about everyone in the Gremory household, but that in itself is bitter-sweet. Often I ask myself, what would I do if one of my friends got hurt? Not to sound cynical, but I don't think I could deal with it. At the very least, I would isolate myself from anyone and everyone. Probably indefinitely. I know it's selfish, but I have to protect these people for my sake.

But of course, meeting Rias was not the only thing to happen that day.

Funnily, thinking to being stabbed is one of the better parts of that memory. What she said, that hurt more than even Zedd's blade. I fooled myself into thinking a girl would want to be with me. I even believed she was having an amazing time on that date. Was I really that gullible? Did I honestly think some random girl would ask me out after just meeting? I hate to admit it, but when we first met on that bridge, that was the happiest moment of my life. After she told me how she "felt" about me, I thought I was on top of the world. Maybe that's the idea behind her thinking. She built me up sky-high, only to kick me over.

I bring my hands up and plant my face into them, feeling the wetness of my cheeks.

Why can't I just forget her? She always haunts me, I'm never truly happy when Yuuma is on my mind. Unfortunately, she is never far from my thoughts. That was and is the only time I felt loved in my life. Everyone I've known has called me weird and/or stupid, my own parents call me a pervert with no future, even Rias and everyone there uses me as no more than a pawn.

"Issei?"

A voice interrupts my thoughts of self-pity. Of course she had to come right know, why is she even here?

"Back from the dead I see."

From behind me, I hear footsteps approaching me. Desperately, I wipe my face, trying to eliminate any stray tear so she doesn't see.

I fail.

A soft hand is placed on my shoulder as the ace of spades reveals herself. She sees my tear stained face and looks worried.

"Issei, are you ok?"

I turn away to rid any unwanted liquid from my face.

"I'm fine."

I reply, still turned away.

"If you were fine, you wouldn't be crying. Are you injured?"

Irina sounds concerned as she speaks.

Finally clearing my face of tears, I turn back to her.

"I said I'm fine."  
She rolls her eyes.

"Come on Issei, if you're going to lie, at least try to make it sound convincing."

I sigh before responding.

"Why are you here?"

She shrugs.

"It was a nice day, so I thought a walk in the park might be fun."

"That's not what I meant."

I loudly comment as she finishes speaking.

"Oh, Micheal stationed me here to watch you guys. Ever since that Zedd guy killed Vilkes, Michael has set up people to watch over important , being the red dragon emperor, and Rias, being a Gremory are both very important."

Irina speaks without missing a beat.

Success, I changed the topic!

"You're avoiding the question though."

Damn. So close.

"If you want to talk about anything, I'm all ears. We have known eachother for quite a while, Issei."

I yawn, still feeling very tired. Maybe I should talk to her, Irina is kind of a third party, since she is not a devil. Figuring I can at least say something, I speak.

"This is where I died."

Irina looks confused as I turn towards the fountain at the center of the park.

"Oh, you mean when that fallen angel attacked you, Raynare. I remember hearing about it, but remind me what happened."

Again, I sigh. I might as well explain it, not that I necessarily want to.

"Well, before she killed me, she disguised herself as a human girl. She used, um, techniques to get closer to me."

Irina looks up in realization.

"Oh yeah! I remember, she asked you on a date then killed you, right?"

More or less, she is correct. She sounds too upbeat though.

"Basically, yeah."

I'm not about to argue with her about this. If this conversation ends here, that's fine by me.

"So, now you're sad because you haven't had a close relationship since then, right?"

Whoa. I mean, she isn't wrong, still though, how'd she figure it out so quick?

"Am I that easy to read?"

Irina giggles and looks at me before replying.

"Yeah, you don't hide your emotions very well. Plus, it was pretty obvious…"

Leaning back, I stretch my neck as she continues.

"But why is it bothering you now? What happened with Raynare hasn't changed, so why are you crying about it now?"

I breath in quickly through my nose.

"She's been on my mind on and off since I joined Rias. Maybe I was crying because of what the dragon said to me…"

I say that last part quietly, almost to myself.

"Ddraig? What did he say?"

Looking over to her, I answer Irina.

"Basically, by killing Zedd, I destroyed the white dragon, which ends the battle between dragon's. He said if that were to ever happen, then the winning dragon would be required to help fulfill their host's dream."

A look of listening and understanding overtakes Irina's face before she speaks.

"Then what is your dream Issei?"

Once again, I sigh.

"I thought it was to have a harem, but that stupid dragon won't take my requests. He digs into my thoughts, and he finds out what I truly desire."

There is a moment of silence, I guess she is expecting me to continue.

"Apparently, more than anything, I want to develop a close relationship with one of my friends."

Looking like she is about to burst in laughter, the angel turns away to compose herself.

"Your joking, right?"

She asks, still facing away.

I don't respond. I know it's stupid, it even sounded silly to me. Me, Issei Hyouduo, widely recognized pervert, wanting a relationship above anything else.

Turning back, Irenia now wears a way to serious look on her face.

"So you want a girlfriend. Can't say I saw that one coming, but it's sweet. So, who do you want as you gf? I'd even let you try at Xenovia!"

She drops the serious act about halfway through her speech, returning to her usual, bubbly self. Punctuating her sentence with a wink, I shrug.

"Honestly, I don't know."

Now Irina laughs.

"What? You mean to tell me you don't have anyone in mind? Then how is this your dream?"

Solemnly, I look down at the ground as she continues to laugh. Quietly, and aggressively, I say.

"I just want to be loved."

Instantly, she stops laughing. Maybe I said too much.

Standing, I turn to walk away, but her voice halts me.

"Is that why you were upset? Because of Raynare and how you think she represents every girl?"

I turn around, only slightly baffled.

"Huh?"

Is the only thing I manage to articulate. The angel just smiles warmly.

"Correct me if I'm wrong here, but you think Raynare was right in what she did to you. I think that her words and actions stuck with you, and now you believe her word to be true. She confessed her feelings one day, then stabbed you the next. No one is just going to get over something like that. However, you can't assume all people are going to think like her, people do love you, and it's not because you are a dragon emperor. Issei, you are a good person, that's what draws people to you."

She looks down and moves her feet slightly, before continuing. I could be wrong, but I think she is blushing.

"People… like me."


	3. Almost

Man, I don't think I will ever get used to my house being a small castle. Originally, I suppose the intention was to have a full-blown castle, with 50 maids. That would've been awesome. Rias was quick to dismantle that plan, my guess is she knew I am not worthy for that kind of luxury.

Stepping to the front door, I slowly turn the handle and walk inside. There is no one else here, just me. Irena was quick to flee after she told me she liked me. That is currently the thought manifesting in my head as I sit on a comfortable looking chair.

Did she mean she liked me? In a romantic sense? No, she probably meant as an old friend. I'm not going to trick myself into interpreting what she said as anymore the reassurance of our friendship. That being said, I can't say I would be against her liking me in an intimate manner. Unfortunately, Irena's an angel, my being a devil probably complicates things if I were to pursue a relationship with her.

What am I saying? I barely know Irena, we've only talked a few times, and I hardly remember when we hung out as kids. Has it really come to the point where I jump at the first sign of a girl showing the slightest shred of interest towards my being? I really am hopeless. Nothing good is going to come with this desperation.

"Ughh."

I let out a noise in frustration, running my hand through my hair. Whoa, my hair feels gross. I guess thats no shock, I wouldn't have been able for the past few days, since I had no consciousness. I turn my head, looking at the clock mounted on the wall behind me. It's just before 2:30, and by the lighting outside, I'm gonna say thats pm.

Oh yeah, I guess thats why nobody is around. They still have to attend classes. Let's see, I usually get home around 4 o'clock, if we don't meet in the research club. So, that leaves me at least an hour and a half before anyone arrives. Plenty of time to soak in the bath.

Standing, I walk towards the staircase. Upon reaching the first step, I feel an immediate rush of dizziness. I grab the nearest wall for stabilization. Just as I think I'm doing alright, apparently not.

My disorientation isn't fading, it is only worsening. This sucks. I can't even look anywhere, everything just looks like a blurry mess of light. From behind me, I hear a high pitch ringing. That can't be good.

"Shit…"

Is the only thing I manage to say before collapsing to the ground.

Where am I?

Slowly, I push my heavy eyelids open and see I am situated in a familiar looking living area. Laying across a couch, I move to sit up, only to feel an immediate rush of nausea and dizziness. Immediately regretting that decision, I fall back to a lying position, creating an audible thump.

"Issei?"

That voice is unmistakable. I guess that explains how I ended up on this couch.

The voice came from the kitchen, and is instantly followed by rushing footsteps. Before I even have an opportunity to react, I find a former Nekomata clinging tightly to my chest.

I don't say anything, nor does she. Honestly, I feel like I should say something, but what?

Koneko beats me to the punch.

"I was so worried."

She is crying as she speaks. Why?

"Koneko, I'm fine. You don't need to cry…"

I really don't like seeing her cry, the fact that her tears are fueled by me makes me feel terrible.

Apparently ignoring me, she nuzzles her face into my chest continuing to sob.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy you're okay."

I smile a little.

"Well, it is me we're talking about. I'm not just gonna die."

Koneko wraps her arms tighter around my back.

"I was still worried. We all were."

She pauses, still firmly pressing her face into my chest. I can't say this is a bad feeling.

"It was my fault you got knocked out. I'm sorry."

Looking down to her in confusion, I speak.

"No, I am the one who was too weak, it's my fault. I would have died to save you."

Koneko slides up, bringing her face beside mine. The warmth of her body covering mine.

She stops crying,and turns to face me.

"Never call yourself weak Issei. You proved you're stronger than any of us."

Evidently calming herself slightly, Koneko pushes herself up. Her face is now hovering above mine. I feel my heart race as she speaks.

"You know, every evening you lied unconscious. I laid beside you and held you every night, listening to you breath. I tightly held you, and I would apologize for not being strong enough to fight with you."

Koneko, not being strong? Blasphemous.

"But,"

Her face noticeably colors as she continues.

"I made a promise to you, and me. I said I would do something when you woke up…"

She is implying something, I know it. I do not know what that something is though. She could literally mean like, twenty things. At least!

Much to my surprise, she leans in closer, eliminating the gap between our faces. Our lips touch, and she nibbles my upper-lip. I want to do something, but I can't move. I am too bewildered.

"My my, am I interrupting?"

Damn it. Can't I have this one?

Koneko shoots up, blushing brightly. She sure left me in a similar state.

"Hello Issei, how are you feeling?"

Akeno sure knows how to kill the mood…

I really try to respond, but I'm still recovering from the beautiful assualt my lips received.

Apparently seeing the mixture of embarrassment and desperation on my face, Akeno giggles.

"You sure look lively to me."

Sighing in defeat, I focus my attention back to Koneko. Though she was quick to back off from the kiss, she is still sitting on me. Her body is resting below my stomach, but above my, um, legs.

"Better be careful Issei, doing that might make some people jealous."

Akeno sounds satisfied as she walks away. Well, that was awkward.

Koneko waits for a moment, watching Akeno as she walks away. As soon as it is confirmed Akeno has disappeared, Koneko lies back over me, blanketing me in warmth.

While she doesn't try to kiss me this time, she rests her soft, left cheek on my right cheek. Somehow, I think this is more nerve-racking than her kissing me. I feel Koneko's movements as she breaths in and out calmly. While I am enjoying this, I can't help but wonder why she's laying atop me.

"Hey,"

Koneko speaks quietly, just inches away from my left ear.

A confused "Hmm?" Is the only response I articulate.

Hesitating for only a moment, Koneko continues.

"Even though you're a complete perv, I think I, umm… might like you."

 _Yeah, I guessed that much when you kissed me_. I fully intend to actually say that, but my brain is currently occupied with trying to memorize everything about this situation. How warm she is, her soft skin against my face, her tantalizing scent, the beautiful words being spoken. Man, everything about this is amazing.

"So..."

Oh yeah, she was probably expecting me to say something. To be fair, she did completely come out of the blue and make-out with me, then she proceed to cuddle me very closely, so my thinking may be a tad obstructed at the moment. I should have done something to acknowledge I did in fact, hear her.

"Do you, like me?"

I feel like thats a loaded question, of course I like her. Whether or not I can muster up the strength to admit it to her is a different question.

I settle for nodding.

She presses her face into mine, being firm and gentle at the same time.

"Then, would you maybe want to, umm…"  
Is she going to ask what I think she is going to ask?

"Go on a date?"

Her words echo in my head a few times. Though I fully anticipated her asking that, my mind is having a difficult time actually interpreting what she said.

She wants to- No, that can't be right. Maybe she thinks a date means something else than what I think it implies.  
Who am I kidding? At this point, I'm just trying to make excuses. But Koneko? Not even a month ago she completely hated me. Now she wants to go on a date. With me. I shouldn't think so hard about this, but I can't help it. I like koneko, but she's been distant from me since I first became Riases pawn. Only since she accepted her cat powers did she finally begin to warm up to me. It's just a complete 180.

"S-sure."

While I may not understand the logic behind it, and she may be lacking in the chest department, at the end of the day I'd be insane to refuse her offer. It's a date with Koneko, I honestly don't think you could pay me to say no to her.

She turns and kisses my cheek before pushing herself off me. I can only watch as she softly smiles and walks away.

….

Well that was unexpected.

I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. Now that shes gone, maybe I can rationally try to remember what happened.  
I passed out trying to climb a staircase, then I awoke in this very spot, laying across this couch. Koneko heard my attempts to get up, and she ran over and hugged me. Up to here, everything sounds plausible. After she held me for a bit, we talked for a while. One thing lead to another, then she kissed me. On the mouth. Koneko. I still can't get over that.

After all of that, I ended up agreeing to a date with her. What a strange day. A wonderfully strange day.

Man, here I was worried that no one actually liked me. Now, I have a date with Koneko of all people. Apparently, this is what I want, and I am more than ok with going on a date.

Carefully, I slowly sit up. This time, I only feel slightly dazed. Swinging my feet around, I sit upright in the center of the couch.

All things considered, I should be extremely happy. So why can't I feel truly excited? I have a date, with a cute, kind, girl. That's what she was though, Yuuma was all those things. Maybe this date will end just as badly as that one did.

Suddenly, from my right, I hear the front door explode open. Immediately, a tsunami of red crimson hair is charging towards me. I only manage to look quickly at the girl's face before she tackles me to the ground.  
There is a brief moment where I don't know where I am. Collecting my thoughts, I find my face tightly pressed between a couch and the best thing ever.

Only managing a small gasp, I am confronted with two funbags from heaven (or, Hell?). They are just begging for attention, the way their pushing into my face.

"Issei! I'm so glad you're safe."

I hear Rias speak, but her womanly bubbles are basically hypnotic, preventing me from thinking.

Pulling back a little, Rias removes or melons from my face, and replacing that flawless image with another beautiful sight. Her face is just centimeters away from mine. Wait, this seems to familiar…

Oh, wait, if she plans to kiss me, I can't let her. If Rias kisses me and Koneko finds out, I fear I might actually be murdered. Slowly, Rias pillowy lips move to meet mine. Honestly, I want to stop this, but it's Rias, she is so beautiful, and her boobs. I'm still recovering from having pure perfection pressed into my face.

Wait, I need to focus. I can't let her kiss me. I'm not gonna backstab Koneko literally minutes after I agreed to a date with her. But what can I do? Again, I'm too weak. She's moving really close now. Would it really be such a bad thing to let this happen? What am I saying? Of course it'd be terrible. On top of my life being in danger from Koneko, I wouldn't ever be able to face Rias again.

"Wait!"

Well I managed to stop her, but she is almost touching my lips with hers.

"What's wrong Issei?"

Rias asks seductively.

"I was just so happy when I heard you woke up I had to run home to see my favorite pawn."

I'm using every shred of my willpower to not kiss her. I mean, this is Rias Gremory, less than a centimeter away from kissing me. Not to mention I can feel her wonderful boobs pressing against my chest.

Wait, aren't I the only pawn?

"It's okay, just close your eyes and I'll take care of the rest."

It honestly scares me a little, how determined she sounds. I go to push myself back, but Rias slides back over and pins me down by the shoulders. Before I can say another word, Rias attacks me with her lips, partaking in an assault of passion. I on the other hand, do everything in my power to resist her. Desperately, I do my best to ignore what's happening, just hoping it will end soon. This is so conflicting. On one hand, I have this beautiful girl trying to engage in a make-out sesh, on the other hand, I really don't want to do anything, considering I just agreed to go out with Koneko. This is so different from before when Rias and I kissed.

Finally sensing something is wrong, Rias pulls back, looking down at me confused.

"Is everything ok?"

She asks, still looking baffled.

I can't stand to look at her. Here is perhaps the best-looking girl I have ever seen, and I refused her advances. I get she can't mean anything by kissing me, I'm only her pawn. Still I feel like the absolute worst person in the world.  
Finally, I got what I really wanted, an opportunity at a closer relationship with one of my beloved friends. Not even five minutes after securing an actual date, I am being kissed by another woman. I couldn't even do anything to stop it. Pathetic.

Pulling myself from Rias, I stand and walk to my room. I don't bother to look at her, or anything. Geez, how stupid could I be? I get exactly what I want, then immediately throw it away. Not only is Koneko going to hate me now, but I doubt I can ever convince myself to sit in the same room as Rias.

Slamming the bedroom door behind me, I slide down it, burying my head into my knees.

It's truly amazing, I manage to realize what I want, get what I want, and then destroy what I want, all in one day. It is cruelly wonderful. The worst part is, all of this was destroyed because of my weakness. I thought and hoped my failures in the past where due to a physical weakness. Unsurprisingly, it seems that isn't the only place I show fault.  
As I sob into my legs, I grow angry at myself. It's always like this. I come so close, only to screw everything up at the end. I almost beat Riser in the first rating game, I almost saved Asia from the fallen angels, I almost had a successful first date.

Almost.

Now, I nearly had what I truly desire, but thanks to my stupidity and weakness, I threw it away.


	4. The Cold Floor

_Is it your fault?_

As I have been doing for the past while, I still sit with my back firmly stapled to the door behind me. In front of me, my bed sits all messed up, just the way I left it.  
Now, I find myself staring at my wrist, mentally yelling at it.

 _You're the entire reason I'm here. Why Rias saved me that day, heck, that was the entire reason Yuuma bothered with me. If you weren't living in me, I could have carried on with my mediocre life. Now look at me, I'm a mess. The people I love are showing their true colors, and I'm left shooting them down. Has everyone has been using me? I don't know how I have never seen that. To Rias, I am nothing more than an easily persuaded pawn, who happens to be the host for the red dragon. The red dragon host, is that all I'm seen as? It wouldn't surprise me. Actually, that is the case. Rias wouldn't have brought me in without my dragon powers, Xenovia said she wants to reproduce with me because of the dragon, Hell, I bet the entire reason anyone in the Gremory house bothers with me is because of you._

"Harsh. You know I'm sitting right here."  
My wrist begins to glow with each word spoken. I guess he was listening into my thoughts.

"So, are you just gonna sit here and feel sorry for yourself?"

I look seriously to the light on my wrist.

"I never asked for this."

He sighs.

"Do you know how cliche you sound?"

I'm already pretty fed up with everything going on, I'm not going to put up with his condescending bullshit.

"Shut up! You're the reason everything's like this."

He laughs before responding.

"Now isn't this ironic. Every person who has hosted me has become consumed by the strength I grant. Yet here you are, sitting down, pitying yourself because this power makes you different. Funny, even though you call yourself weak, you defeated Albion."

Looking past my wrist and to the floor, I keep silent. I don't know how to respond to that.

Sure, he is right. To defeat the white dragon was the ultimate test of skill, but in reality, all I did was break sword because of the dragons game-breaker. Wait, that's what it always comes down to, isn't it? I am weak, on my own.

"I never beat Vilkes."

Thinking out loud, I look to the dimly lit ceiling above.

"Really? Then do tell, who broke Zedd's weapon? I don't know how, but his blade infused with Albion, absorbing him. You did it Issei. No one can take that away from you. It was y-."

"But It wasn't!"

I yell at my wrist. How stupid does this dragon think I am?

"It was your power! I am nothing without this sacred gear, and don't pretend like I am."

"Listen to yourself Issei, my power is your power. We are bound until your death, even if you aren't strong without the power of the Welsh dragon, that is irrelevant. You will never be in a place where I will not be there, fighting with you."

He's wrong. Just because he lives in me until I die, that doesn't justify me relying on his inherited strength to protect everything I love.

"How can I be strong? I can fight, but only when the people I love are hurt or in danger. That in of itself is makes me pathetic. I can't fight without some motivation. Whether it's Koneko in peril, or Rias tempting me with her tits, there is always something more to push me to become a fighter. Now I find myself wanting to fill a hole in my life, to get a relationship with one of my cherished allies. I blew it, though! You were there, weren't you? Koneko approached me and asked to go on a date, and my weakness shattered any opportunity for that to happen. I went from extremely happy, to being pulled back to reality by Rias. None of them see me as anything more than a pawn with a powerful sacred gear. And you were right. I can barely manage the feelings I have for one person, how the Hell could I balance having a harem? There's just no way. So, let me ask you this Ddraig, if my desire is to acquire a girlfriend, and you pledged to help me fulfill my desire; I blew it with Koneko, Rias see's me as a pawn, Xenovia only cares about the red dragon in me, Akeno is in the same boat as Rias, Asia is like a sister to me, and even Irenia, I hardly know and she's an angel. How the fuck am I supposed to have true happiness if I already destroyed my chances of having an actual relationship?"

Staring at my wrist, I pant heavily. I may have gotten carried away there, but everything I said was true. A few moments pass by and the dragon hasn't said anything.

"Well?"

I ask, shaking my wrist.

"Answer me, damn it!"

Finally having enough, I fall to my left with those last words. Pathetically, I cry as I lay on the cold floor.

It's over. There is no coming back from this. I can never get what I truly want. No amount of begging, fighting, or hoping is going to change anything. So where do I go from here? Can I go back to the way things were before any of this happened? I could return to lusting over Rias, hoping to touch her boobs, Akeno would continue to tease the lowly pawn, Xenovia would ask to make babies, Asia and Irenia would stay the same, and Koneko would once again hate me.

That last one hurts though. She was so heartfelt when she told me she liked me, and then mustered the courage to ask me out. Why did I have to throw it away? I'm such an idiot.

What am I supposed to do? Frankly, I can't go back to the way things were, I don't want to. I have to move forward. Maybe forward isn't with the Gremory house.

No, it has to be. I'm bound to Rias, she is my master. For the first time, I'm starting to wonder if being saved by her was actually a bad thing.

Still weeping with the left of my face planted in the floor, I hear a gentle knock from behind me.

"Issei?"

Here I was thinking today couldn't get any worse.

Is she here to talk about what happened? That'd make sense, but my days might be numbered. I doubt Koneko is going to ever forgive me, at the very least she will probably break multiple bones.

Not answering, I lay motionless on the hard floor. How can I face her?

"I'm coming in."

 _Don't_. Why can't I say that? One little word to prevent the oncoming awkward confrontation. It's times like this where I wish I had a lock on my door.

I feel a solid wooden door press lightly into my spine. After all, I am still pressing against the door, even as I am lying across the floor.

The force becomes greater as I slide across the floor as the door opens. I shouldn't be surprised, this is Koneko we are talking about. I beat she isn't even using a fraction of her strength to push the door open.

Stepping in, I see Koneko look around, searching for me. Perhaps it would be better if she just left without finding me. Unfortunately, it doesn't take her long to locate the weak pawn in the room.

She closes the door after seeing the pathetic chess piece. There is a brief moment where I am scared for my life. But, that fear subsides as my eyes meet hers. Instead of anger and rage, like I expected, her eyes read of having sadness and compassion. On top of being shocked by this, I feel even worse about what happened with Rias. Instinctively, I stand up, only to turn away from Koneko. I don't bother to wipe my tear stained face, she would have already seen that I have been crying.

Silence fills the room as I stand with my back to Koneko. Fully anticipating her to speak, I stand still.

"Are you ok?"

She asks. The only response I give is a slight shake of my head. I seriously doubt I could actually form words to say to her. Man this is awkward.

While I may not want to speak to her, I'm not not gonna be dishonest with her, I just can't bring myself to lie to her.

"Do you want to talk about anything?"

Again, I shake my head.

From behind me, I hear her breath deeply.

"Is that really how you feel?"

This could mean a number of things. She might be asking if I really do not want to talk, how I feel about Rias, or even what I said to the dragon. Although, I suppose the latter is unlikely, as there is no feasible way she could have heard that conversation.

"Issei, please look at me."

The sincerity in her voice is like venom. Every fibre of my being is telling me not to turn around, I'm worried what will happen if I look at her. Even still, I step and turn to face her general vicinity. I don't know why, but something inside me is telling me not to ignore her request. I turn to her, and reluctantly look at her face.

"I'm guessing you meant what you were yelling,"

Yelling? When was I yelling?

"So, I just wanted to tell you you're wrong. You're not weak."

I am though.

"You are more than just some person with a strong sacred gear,"

Don't lie to me.

"Everyone sees you as so much more than Rias's pawn,"

Stop.

"I'm not mad about what happened with you and Rias."

You have to be. How could you not?

Koneko pauses for a second before continuing.

"Issei, what happened with Raynere won't happen again."

Now I completely freeze. How could she know that is bothering me? No, she can't honestly know this all stems from Yuuma.

Koneko steps in front of me and places her hands below my shoulders, holding my arms tightly. I look down to meet her gaze.

"Issei, I want to be with you."

I shake my head in disbelieve.

"You don't"

I manage to say.

"I do. You might be a hopeless pervert, but you're strong, you always fight for what you believe in, your non-perverted side is so nice and caring, and you helped me."

Taking in a ragged breath I respond.

"No, you're wrong. Stop lying to me"

She shakes me lightly.

"Stop thinking I can't love you! Issei, I mean every word I'm saying. Even if you think the others only see you as a pawn or a dragon emperor, just know I see you as more!"

No, she has to be lying. There is no way she can mean any of these things she's sayi-

Wait, did she just say…

It was a double negative, but I'm pretty sure she meant she loved me. Or am I just reading too much into this? She probably meant something else.

I sigh.

Who am I kidding, I can't even fool myself into believing she meant something else. Then, she meant it. Is Koneko using me like everyone else?

Looking into her eyes, I see a painfully sincere gaze. I think she was being honest. Then, someone sees me as more than a pawn? Or a dragon emperor?

Maintaining my gaze into her eyes, I feel my heart race. Is this it? What I truly want?

My thoughts flash to images of Yuuma. I felt like I do now, when she approached me on that bridge. She was the first person I loved, and I've never been able to truly get over that.

I won't be so gullible again. Koneko can't possibly mean anything she is saying. This is just like back then. She approached me and lied to me, so wouldn't it make sense for Koneko to do the same thing?

"Issei,"

Koneko's soft spoken voice halts my thinking, bringing my focus back to her.

"I'm not like her."

Feeling my eyes once again water, I stare into her eyes. Something about the way she said it, makes me really believe her. How would she have known who I was thinking about? Did she know, or does it even matter? I don't think it does.

All I know for certain, is she is right.

Placing my hands behind Koneko's back, I pull her close and tightly hold her. She returns the favour, wrapping her soft arms around me and burying her face in my chest.

Maybe, this is what I want. No, I can say that for certain. Holding her now is enough to convince me.

For the first time today, I smile sincerely.

( **AN: FYI I despise including notes, but here is a rarity amongst my work. So, this story is not ending here, I have a couple blue prints for this tale. However, as you are probably unaware, I am currently writing a novel. Fanfiction is my #2 priority in terms of writing. My main focus is on my novel, that shall not change. This story in particular blossomed because my novel reached the end of a chapter (part), and I felt it necessary for a weeks break. Thus, this story was born. I'm pretty happy with how it's all shaping up, which is precisely why I will continue it... eventually. When I feel the need to, or when my novel reaches a break, I shall return. Until such a day, I am off. Fear not, brave readers, for I vow to see Issei through to the end. Until next time!**

 **:)**


	5. The Calm Before

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, it'll be Saturday, so we'll have the whole day to do whatever we want."

"Is that such a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be? Do you not want to go with me? Would you rather it be someone else?"

"No, no that's not it. It's just, sudden."

"I think it should be fine, from what I can see, you could use this. Plus I really want to go…"

"What was that last part?"

"N-nothing, so do you want to go?"

"...Yeah, let's do it."

"Alright, lets meet at noon tomorrow then."

"Where are we meeting again?"

"At the shopping district, don't forget, ok?"

"Yeah, I won't. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah. I'm looking forward to it!"

*Hug*

Stretching my arms, I watch as Koneko closes the door behind her as she exits the room. So I guess that's that. I have a date.

I let out a long, exasperated sigh. True, I am altogether happy to be going on a date with Koneko. Still, that doesn't change anything about anyone else. They all still see me as a pawn, just some easily manipulated person. Now though, it's difficult to worry about any of that. My thoughts are instead on Koneko.

How ironic, how laughably ironic. The one person in the Gremory house who resented me from the beginning, is the person who asked me on a date. Talk about a one-eighty. Maybe this is for the best. After all, the old dragon was right, I don't really want a harem.

Until then, I should probably take it easy, use this time to recuperate. As i continue to stretch my arms to either side of me, I inhale deeply. This, in turn, reminds me of that bath I never took. Might as well take it now.

Steam still fills the bathroom as I let the water drain from the bath. Standing up, I run a hand through my wet hair, feeling refreshed from the aforementioned bath.

Maybe I'm being slightly unreasonable about all of this. Rias and everyone else surely see me as slightly more than a lowly pawn. My powers don't necessarily have to define me.

I laugh quietly to myself.

Of course none of that's actually true. After all, the single reason I'm here in the first place is because of my sacred gear. If I wasn't the red dragon host, there is no way any of these people would bother with me. So in that sense, my powers do define me.

Obviously, there are exceptions, though they are few. I met Asia before either of us knew about the power stored inside me. Same with Irina, even though she is an angel, we had a previous friendship. Admittedly, I may not have ever seen her again if I had not been salvaged by Rias, but that's not what I mean.

Speaking of Rias "saving" me, one would think by her doing that, it should naturally insinuate an obligated feeling of thankfulness. True, originally, I was unquestionably grateful. Now, it has evolved into a feeling of doubtfulness. Sure, joining the Gremory house has spawned plenty of positive things, mostly boob touching, but no matter how much you polish stone, it will never be diamond. All the pressure that comes with being the host of Ddraig is not easily avoided, every person around me trusts their lives to my power. If that's not enough, this endless flow of filtration is messing with my head, or it was. This puts me in a social situation where I doubt my relationships.

Bringing this back to my original point, maybe then it is easier to just see me as an expendable pawn. Or, more likely, everyone here just sees me as a powerful object to be tricked and used.

I yawn loudly and look down at my feet, which have now dried, along with the rest of my body. Glancing up, I see the steam has cleared up. I must have really zoned out there.

Grabbing a nearby towel, I cover myself from the waist down and reach for the door handle. Not bothering to grab my clothes which I lazily threw into the corner, I twist the door snob and hesitate for a moment. Really hoping I don't run into anyone, as I am not in the mood for a probably awkward confrontation, I slowly push the door, stepping into the cool hallway.

I glance up and down, and to my relief, see no one. With new found confidence, I casually stride down the empty corridor. Luckily for me, the distance between the bathroom and my room is relatively short, so in no time at all, I find myself in my room again. Wasting no time at all, I softly kick my door and step forward, letting it close behind me. Approaching my closet, I retrieve casual attire; my white shirt along with a pair of black plants. Of course, I also grab socks and what-not.

As I dress, my mind once again wanders.

Albeit fairly palpable that I'm seen as a pawn, that still leaves Koneko as a bit of a wild card. If I'm to believe what she said, then she doesn't care about my powers, she apparently just likes me for who I am.

While I want to believe what she said, I don't know if I can convince myself to actually trust her word. It's easier to assume that again, she is just using me, keeping the red dragon host tied down.

I can't decide which one to believe; that she genuinely likes me, or is manipulating me. Truthfully, I do feel like I should immediately eliminate the former as a possibility, just based on what I have seen. But some primordial force is making me think that Koneko actually likes me, that she did mean what she said. Maybe it's because I really would like that to be true, but either way, I can't wipe this lingering feeling of hope.

Regardless, I will go on the date tomorrow, because on top of me wanting to go out with Koneko, I really don't see a reason not to go. I already committed to it anyways.

Upon finishing putting all my clothes on, I turn back to my door, not really sure what to do. Thinking for a minute, my stomach growls at me, reminding me I have yet to eat today. I probably should satisfy my hunger.

I lay down the knife and look at my gourmet creation. Though I probably could have made something more filling, I ended up settling for a sandwich with peanut butter. Not huge on the stuff, but hey, it's better than nothing.

I take a bite into the soft bread and turn around, facing an empty kitchen. Normally, you can find someone in here, but there isn't a soul in the general vicinity to bother me. If it's not my mother cooking a storm in here, it's more often than not Akio, even Asia sometimes. If no one is cooking, it's not uncommon to find someone snacking in here. I guess that's the role I'm filling right now.

Taking another bite of my half-assed sandwich, the sound of footsteps catches my attention. I would leave the room, but that seems rather pointless right now.

"Oh, hey Issei."  
Says a calm and collected Rias. I just keep eating, only casting a slight gaze at her direction in response.

Apparently not caring that much about her lowly pawn, she just slowly walks towards the fridge.

If awkwardness was water, I'd be drowning right now. It's not like Rias to just say a greeting so nonchalantly, unless she's building up to something.

"Oh before I forget…"

I knew it.

"I need to see you, alone, tomorrow afternoon."

Something about the vagueness of her request makes me feel uneasy, almost like she's intentionally leaving out details. I know better than to ask though, if she's specifically leaving out information, me asking won't make her tell me. Also, her highlighting the word "alone" down right terrifies me.

"I'm busy."

Is all I end up saying, quietly, in between bites.

From my peripheral sight, I see her smile, and I hear a soft giggle.

"You've been unconscious for two months, how do you have plans?"

I nearly choke on my sandwich as I shot a surprised look at Rias.

"Two months?"

I almost yell at her.

Apparently taken aback by my reaction, she only manages to nod to confirm my question.

I thought I was out for a week, maybe two. But two month's? That's insane.

"Anyways…"

Rias continues, looking eager to change the topic.

"Since you're somehow busy tomorrow, how about Sunday?"

She can try to change the subject of conversation, but I can't get over this that quickly. So, I've been absent from school for two month's? What have my parents been through? Actually, where are they? I haven't seen any signs of them today, and how did Rias explain my coma like state?

Rias stands and closes the fridge door, snapping my focus on the current situation. She looks expectant.

Oh, right, a response.

"Sure."

Again, I don't really see a reason to decline her, so I'll go.

"Great, see you Sunday."

With that, she exits the room.

Wait, did she only come in here to talk to me? I didn't see her grab anything from the fridge, so I guess. Just another tactic to manipulate me, I suppose.

Finishing off the last of my sandwich and rub my hands together, removing any crumbs that might still be there.

Looking to my right, I look out of a window and see an endless array of light as the sun slowly descends onto the horizon. I sigh deeply. I refocus my vision on the reflection in the window. Where I used to see someone who only responded to base urges, I don't know who the guy in the window is.

All I know is he's different.


End file.
